dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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