good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
