so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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