Pappa wants mamma naked
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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