We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
