There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
