Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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