At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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