Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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