Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
