I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
