How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
