guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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