addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
