so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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