Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
