Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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