She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize