i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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