This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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