He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize