matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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