Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think i have two assholes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize