Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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