fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize