Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
