That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
