She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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