Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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