Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
