I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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