sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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