i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
