New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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