Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
