I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
