I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
