I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
