What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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