What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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