I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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