College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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