Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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