Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your cock deserves a montage
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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