Apparently you make a good broom.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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