hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish you could order shots online.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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