I didn't shave. On purpose
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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