But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
