Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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