Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
