just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize