I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
do nipples grow back?
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