Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
