ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
