Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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