Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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