just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
