I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize