The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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