If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize