just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
