Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize