the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
