i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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