Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
